10/28/2012 11:53:17 AM

With a large commission that I am working on, as well as getting ready for some upcoming shows, I have been pushing my creative self a little harder than I typically do.  It is both exciting and challenging...though I am finding the challenge comes not so much from the physical act of creating such a large body of work, as much as it comes from the inner recesses of my mind...the hidden places where self doubt likes to hide and cause trouble...The issue is that when things start going really well, it can bring up that shadow that says...maybe I'm not good enough, maybe this time I won't be able to paint anything worth while,...whatever the fear is it comes up...I wonder why success brings this up as much as if not more than lack of success.  It must be some hidden part that basically does not feel worthy...however, I have learned not to be ruled by this voice...I challenge it and continue painting and eventually I come back to myself.  During this process what happens is that I will have an off day,( or maybe more, but usually one) where everything I touch goes wrong...I drop the brush, I sit on a paint lid (with paint side up)...a whole jar of brush cleaning water gets spilled on the ground...I can not manipulate the paint no matter how many times I have done the same techniques in the past...the painting looks terrible...I feel terrible.  But I can not stop at this point or the feeling will plague me...instead I keep painting, and at some point it turns around and everything starts working again...  I feel better and the painting begins to take shape.  By continuing to paint and trusting myself, I manage not to let the hidden fears arise and take over, and I think each time this happens I get stronger and the voice of fear gets weaker.  I don't  think I will ever live a life free of all fear, and I think some fears have a valid voice, but I  can live a life where I push back, challenging those thoughts and not believing everything they have to say.

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10/22/2012 12:28:29 PM

I watched the movie "Rock of Ages" last night, an eighties inspired musical about rock music, and, through that music, was transported back in time to my middle and high school years. This morning I woke up and put on that music for my painting session. It brought up all sorts of memories and emotions, which is my favorite way to feel when painting...and why I always paint to music I love...at full blast...so I can be lost in the music instead of getting stuck in my head...leading to a more creative space. I give thanks to all the amazing musical artist who have and will create music that inspires not only me but others as well.

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10/16/2012 12:51:31 PM

Sometimes, as a creative and visual person, who gave birth to a daughter who is also creative and visual,  certain things like...oh..a Halloween costume...which are supposed to be simple...become not so simple.  So, when my daughter is thinking of her Halloween costume, she  is thinking of a masterpiece, and so am I, but make no mistake I am not skilled to create a fabric masterpiece.  So, last year we bought a costume thinking it would be easier than our previous years of making one together. That went ok, not beautiful but workable. This year again we purchased a costume, that in the picture looked amazing...think gone with the wind style dresses...when it came...not so much. It was pretty much see through plastic that sounded like she was wearing a diaper...and was nothing like the picture. Her face fell and she tried she tried to hide the tears that were welling up. I know that she could not imagine having to wear this thing, and she thought she was stuck with it since we had ordered it.  However, back it had to go.  I told her we could do better..so off to the fabric store we went for a red riding hood inspired look.  Now, after searching the whole store we settled on a gorgeous red velvety material to create a long dress and long cape.  I had armed myself with blessedly great advice from online blogs by talented people, and went for a mostly no sew approach.  This required long lengths of fabric, and while getting it cut, the helpful women at the fabric store gently told me that there was some red fabric on sale for Halloween for cheaper...I looked at my daughter who looked worried, and replied nicely that we had seen and felt it and it just was not the right shade of red...and then the woman smiled and  added that she did not care for that cheaper fabric herself because it did not feel or hang nice.  Now, most may not care about the right shade or feel of fabric for a halloween costume...but for me and my daughter, this dress is like an art piece. We have a  vision of this dress, in this perfect red, not orangey red, not burgundy red, just the right red. We came home and made it, and I surprised myself, as this skirt and cape are beautiful.  My daughter is already thinking about how she can wear the red cape at christmas time with her dresses, and the red skirt next year as a girl pirate by adding scarves around the waist. She keeps wanting to wear it and twirl as it does have an amazing twirl to it.  Now, I was not sure this would come together,  however, my daughter had faith in my skill before I did, and I had faith in my vision...so I just researched from other talented people the way to accomplish this.  This process reminded me of two things, one is that art is everywhere in my life and I love creating it in all forms, the other is that I will always be learning from other people what I do not know and gaining new skill...for both I am grateful. I do plan on posting a picture when the full costume is done and details are added.

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10/9/2012 11:55:35 AM

This morning, I added  some of my newer work to my website, and...you may notice a certain pattern in my recent color choices...blue, blue, blue/green...It is obvious that I do have a tendency to be called and compelled to work in certain colors for periods of time. I think my color choices are stronly influenced by the season, either reflecting the colors of the season, or reacting to my desire for a change in the colors of the season (like when I get tired of gray spring seattle days and start painting with a lot of white and yellow and blue...striving to bring a little lightness into my life).  So, as summer fades into fall...it is possible I will start to pack up the light blues and greens...and return to the warm folds of autumn golds, reds and warm browns...however, I am not sure I am ready to give up the light yet...we'll see

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10/3/2012 1:04:14 PM

Size Matters...at least to me, when it comes to paintings... I love large paintings, and find myself compelled to work in large scale.  I find that large paintings have a lot of impact, the colors are really intensified and the movement of the brushes or tools used to create the piece are exposed...As an artist,  it feels raw and that there is no where to hide...my pieces absolutely reflect the mood I am, the colors I am inspired by, the way I am seeing the world.  I also feel that large pieces are an important part of creating a room or space. And, as I have a mutual love of design and painting, I can not seperate the two in my creative process.  I have noticed that people seem to think that you need a huge space to hang a large painting. I find the opposite,  a really large painting that almost fills a wall or space can have a more calming and balanced presence in the room. (Smaller pieces can have the same effect when hung in collections or groups.)   Hanging a piece that almost fills a space within a wall, like centered above a sofa, the wall can become like the frame around the painting and the painting or artwork will balance the scale of the sofa. Designers use artwork to bring in the colors of the room, to create the mood of the room, and to balance all the furniture in the space. So, don't be afraid of large pieces of artwork... Let them help you define your space. 

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10/1/2012 10:05:08 PM

Sometimes I have large creative burts, and I have so many ideas, I wish I could be working them all at once...and would if I had the space. Other times, I have less creativity flowing...so I listen. I dont try and force it. I use the time for things I need to get done but dont require that creative energy to be on. I make sure all my finished pieces have their edges painted and that they have final varnish coats. I work on getting photos done of new pieces and get them uploaded and the details logged. I find that by following my own signals, it allows for rest, and gives me time for the other aspects of art that may not be my favorite, but are still important and needed.  

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